If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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