Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
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Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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