Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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