Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
