ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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