No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
