I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
