We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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