Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
That's when you crack a 10am beer
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
