the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
