She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize