Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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