btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
