i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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