yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
