If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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