After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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