its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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