This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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