my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
