I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
