Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize