I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
