you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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