3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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