just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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