first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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