you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
