We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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