Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
