PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
