So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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