shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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