she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
