Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
