The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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