I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
