I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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