great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
