the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
