party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
