This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
