Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
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