I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
