Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
did you just send me my own nude
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
