chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
