So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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