ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
