Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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