Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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