i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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