so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
