awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
