You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
