im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
