Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
