I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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