low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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