apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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