This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I love you. Go after that dick
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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