And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i've created a new STD.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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