So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
there is puke in my bra ... again
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
