THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
