Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
