After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
