So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
