i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
