dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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