I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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