btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
