He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
