New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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