It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
